Wario and his Opponent
by Master Pencil
Summary: A boxing competition has arrived in Diamond city. Because he always thought highly of himself, Wario enters the ring believing he could defeat any enemy in his way. But is every opponent what they seem?


**Wario and His Opponent**

**By Master Pencil**

One day in Diamond City, there lived a man who thought he ran the town. His company produced the video games that the people took pleasure in playing and all of the city's roads were a part of his joyride on his grumbling, roaring chopper. Money was the candies of life to him. This man was the one and only Wario.

On that day Wario was at his home eating cloves of garlic. He shoved the bulbous food into his huge mouth and chomped them with the bite force like that of a shark. He gobbled and mumbled as he ate to make sure no strong taste of garlic escaped his watery tongue. When Wario was finished with his meal, he sulked to the armchair in front of his prized TV like a bear coming out of slumber.

He had a dream last night about him defeating a monstrous dragon that had the hair of a certain Koopa king and rescuing Mona as a princess. But before he tried to kiss her he ended up waking in his room. After a fuss of disappointment, he would lull himself back to sleep with thoughts of glory so he could possibly have a dream like that again.

"Wonder what's on TV?" he mumbled.

The TV sprang to life and lit up a scene of Ken the reporter dog standing in front of what appeared to be a fighting ring. It was hard to say for sure because so many people were crowding the space that the ring looked like a blue island among a sea of colors and shapes. It was also very noisy, and Wario had to turn down the volume so his tough ears wouldn't twinge with the sound waves.

"Good morning to everyone on this very special day!" said Ken. "A new competition has arrived!"

Wario's attention was now fixed. Leave it to Ken to give the kind of news he wanted to hear. Often times Wario would lounge on his armchair and simply grin over news about the many copies his video games sold. What competition would Wario excel in?

"Boxing has been popular over the years," said Ken. "We usually watch and see the champions duke it out, but what if the fans got their chance for the glory and trophy? That is why the DCBA has agreed to host a tournament among boxing enthusiasts strong enough to face their opponents."

Now this was what Wario was hoping for. He knew that fighting was the best way for him to release some of the slack that strained him over the past several days. He got a surge of confidence over this announcement, and it was this confidence that soon began to morph into pride. No one stupid enough would match the one and only Wario! He was going to go out into that ring and knock some heads! In a city that revolved around him, a low-life would hit the bucket on his way out of the ring and into the stands. The thoughts swimming around his big head made his muscles tense and his legs harden.

"I can be a boxer!" he finally exclaimed. "I'll be so strong and mighty, not even Mike Tyson can last a minute with me!"

One problem seemed to be in the way however. Wario was not really known for boxing. He shrugged when the thought arose, and decided that maybe he could hire someone to train him. Not that he would need it anyway, but it might give him a bit of a workout at least.

"Wonder if Dribble and Spitz know anything about boxing?" he said.

Wario left on his bike and drove off to the taxi station. As he drove through the urban roads he continued to think how awesome it would be to win the championship. He fought quite a lot in his days, whether it be Super Smash Bros or on his own adventures in lands far away. As far as he knew, the folks around Diamond City were no big and buff power houses. Most of the people he ran into were spindly or normal. If he ever did see a tough guy stomping around he would keep his distance because he knew he was tough, but not invincible.

Once he reached the Taxi Station, Wario dropped off and found Dribble and Spitz taking a nap in their taxi. Their loud snoring irritated him, and with a mischievous grin he cracked a small fart around his danger zone. The gas streamed its way under both of their noses, making them jump three feet in the air and land in front of Wario.

"Aw, come on Wario!" said Dribble. "We hate it when you do that!"

"Can't you see that we're taking a break?" added Spitz.

"You can take a break when you tell me about boxing!" Wario said. "Think you can be my trainer?"

Dribble's eyes widened like a puppy caught in a cold bath. What kind of question was that? He knew Wario was always trying to find the right hobby or sport to excel in but this was too much. He and Spitz were only taxi drivers after all. Did he seriously think they were more macho or something?

"Uh, that's a pretty interesting question you got there, Wario!" he said. "Heard about the boxing competition?"

"You bet!" he replied. "I want to join so I can kick all of their little butts!"

"Well, I guess I can show ya some moves," Dribble mumbled.

And so Dribble and Spitz brought Wario to their exercise room. Dribble, feeling very uncomfortable, started a training fight with Wario. The only time he had to fight anyone was if a thief tried to steal their money, but Wario had a long history getting rough. He laid a beating on Dribble that was so uncomfortable for Spitz to watch that Dribble had to eventually leave the ring right away. If he had a tail, it would definitely have been between his legs.

"That ought to do it!" Wario said. "That's all the training I need!"

"Really?" said Spitz. "Shouldn't you have some more?"

"No!" Dribble barked.

Wario left the exercise room with his ego larger than it was since the announcement. With one look at him, all of those dorks would turn and run for their life. Wario was the big man in the city, and no way would anyone have the guts to tackle him.

The next day was the boxing competition. Crowds of people showed up to see the fights or participate in them. Boxing fans and tough guys appeared to be in the ring, and Wario was among them. Some were surprised to find him there, but most would have expected a man like him to try his hand at a hard sport such as this. In their eyes, Wario was a man who revered himself like a macho man that wasn't attractive to begin with. They all thought that he was doomed to failure, but Wario believed he was destined for success.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" called the announcer. "We welcome you to the first annual Common Contender Tournament! Our first match will be that between Wario and Joe!"

Wario was at the red corner of the ring, prepping himself for his first fight. He was shirtless, so the spectators had to cringe when they witnessed his flabby chest and pot belly. His diminutive hairdo was also pretty unattractive, but he didn't care at all. All that he did care about was winning this tournament, and all that were going to be in his way would be taken out.

"I'll make this guy be Glass Joe soon!" he said.

His opponent did look a little spindly for a boxer. When the fight began, he was clearly confused and shaken by the loud roaring of the crowd and the heavy blows Wario dealt at his sides. The fear and weakness in his eyes were easy to spot out. Wario took him out in a heartbeat.

The next few rounds were the same way, and when it was time for a small break he saw that Dribble and Spitz arrived to see him. Dribble came up to the ring as Wario sat on his stool to cool off.

"Join the Nintendo fun club today, Wario!" Dribble told him.

"What kind of advice is that?!" he replied.

The next contenders were a little tougher, but Wario prevailed over all of them. They looked slightly intimidating to the others with their big muscles and harsh looks, but Wario saw them as road blocks on his road to the trophy. So he fought them all and beat them all. Nothing else made him feel any more prideful. Now he thought that no one was going to stop him.

It was the final fight. Wario was hardly stirred by the rigorous fighting he fought. He was grinning widely and thinking of such wonderful thoughts of how powerful he was. None of these contenders had the guts to take him on after all. He even thought that the contender he was going to fight now was going to be a push-over. When he was revealed to the crowd, he thought he was exactly right.

His opponent looked very calm and cool. His eyes looked tired but true, and he walked to the ring like it was a part of his home. He sat at his stool and listened to the short advice of his trainer, his eyes never looking tense or stressed at all. He was fit well, and when it came time for him and Wario to fight he gazed at Wario with barely any hostility.

"Now begins the final fight!" said the announcer. "Who will win the trophy and the tournament?"

The bell rang, and Wario began to hop from side to side with a cocky smirk and a careless manner. His opponent simply stared his ridiculing, and he took his time aiming for a hit. Wario didn't care if he took a wild swing or if he acted afraid, he was going to win.

Then the unexpected happened. His opponent smacked him so hard on his large chin that everything went white in Wario's vision. He landed on the floor with a tremendous crash and his opponent never changed his face as he did. He still had that calm and cool look. Here was Wario, who acted as intimidating as he could get, and he still lost to his opponent. The crowd went wild.

Whatever happened next seemed like an illusion to Wario. He was hauled off by Dribble and Spitz to some kind of refuge and was left there to recuperate. When he went to sleep, he didn't dream anything except for a vision of Master Cricket showing a frog and fly.

"Look Young Cricket," he told his pupil.

The frog eyed the fly with its cool and calm eyes. The fly was buzzing all around him in the most irritating manner, and then the frog lashed out its tongue and ate the fly instantly.

"You see, Young Cricket," he told him. "The one that remains calm and cool will triumph over the reckless."

When Wario woke up, he found himself on his bed. He yawned and jumped out of bed, a kind of strange dizziness swimming around his head. What happened earlier seemed like a dream to him, and the vision of his opponent was still in his mind. Did all of that really happen?

"That was weird," he said.

He thought so much about his opponent that he even ate his cloves of garlic slowly to think about the match. He tried hard to work his brain to bring up that sight again, but it didn't come so easy as it did. Did he really know what happened?

It bothered him so much that he decided to head to Dribble and Spitz to find out. Instead of seeing them however, he found that they were gone. So he went to their exercise room. But when he got there, he found that there was no exercise room at all.

"What's going on here?" he said.

Becoming more disturbed, he decided to tell of the match with Master Mantis. He saw him standing at the park with Young Cricket. He noticed Wario coming, and gave him a bow.

"Hello Wario," he greeted. "What is it that you want?"

"Yeah, did you hear about that boxing competition?" he asked.

"I have heard of no such thing," he replied.

This was becoming too much. Wario couldn't believe that he was going crazy. He fell at their feet in pity.

"Please!" he begged. "Tell me what's going on with me!"

Master Mantis thought about it, and Wario could tell that he was thinking critically about Wario's trouble. How was it that Wario would think about the recent competition as a dream when it had to have been a reality? Could there be something behind all of this?

"I suggest you find those that use magic," he finally said.

Of course, it had to have been Ashley. Maybe she could answer his fears of forgetting what happened. So he went on his bike and drove to Ashley's mansion. It looked very dark and dim as it always did, and Wario was not feeling fine to be among haunted things if he was maybe being haunted himself.

Red opened the door to see a frightened Wario, and when he let him in he dashed to see Ashley calmly stirring her cauldron with ease. Wario couldn't help but think that the same expression on her face was similar to his opponent's. he came behind her with a feeling of uneasiness.

"What's going on Ashley?" he asked her. "Was there a competition yesterday?"

She stopped stirring and stared at him with those calm and cool eyes.

"No," she muttered. "That was all an illusion."

Wario felt like shrinking into the floor below. Was this going on as an illusion as well? Or was it the real thing? It all shook him with a feeling of the unknown that smothered his all-knowing attitude.

"Shocked?" she replied. "I had used a spell that was even quite a challenging one for me. I had used it to create an alternate dimension in your brain, Wario. You had always thought you were the greatest of all, and so I turned the world in your head into your surroundings. Dribble and Spitz never maintained an exercise room, and there was no boxing competition. There was no DCBA. Even your opponent does not exist. A part of him was a part of _me_. I put some of my traits and mannerisms into his character. You must not be reckless and foolish to get to the top; you must be calm and cool such as me. I even had to have one of Master Cricket's lectures teach you that. This is the true reality Wario."

He stayed there rooted to the spot. Then he turned and ran, ran like the wind onto his bike and out into the world he now didn't think was his. Now he was certain he wasn't going to be arrogant like that in front of Ashley ever again. Red heard and saw what happened and walked toward Ashley with some of his own uneasiness.

"Did you really make a spell like that?" he asked. Ashley remained still for a minute, but then chuckled to herself.

"No," she said. "He simply ate too many pork rinds before bed, thus making him sleep-walk. I believe the Punch-Out game that he borrowed from 9-Volt that night significantly contributed to it as well."

"How did you know all that?" Red then asked.

"I watched him with my crystal ball, and I did hear that he thought he ran the city," she explained. "Of course, he had to fall into my hands eventually, so that gave me my perfect advantage."

There were still many more questions that Red wanted to ask, but he was getting tired. He went ahead and went upstairs to bed. Ashley stayed put and eyed her kitchen.

"Of course, I never said that those were _magical _pork rinds," she added to herself. With that she went up to her bedroom, giggling darkly.


End file.
